Gentle Birth.. enough of drugs!

My first birth wasn’t something I would like to repeat. Being the first experience I followed everything from whatever sources I've read. LZ was 4-days overdue and I was admitted during that 4 days of waiting. Why? Because I voluntarily surrendered myself to the O&G on the due date and refused to go back although I was only 1cm dilated hehehehe.

Padahnya, every morning and afternoon kena 'seluk' and further dilation only occurs on the 3rd day, induced. Maasya Allah sakitnya memang tak boleh describe.. When LZ is safely delivered, approx 3-4 hours after that a gush of blood pool came out and I practically wet the bed.. with blood. I had a retained placenta.. again kena seluk hidup2 (imagine, diseluk just hours after being sewn) and I was rushed to the OT. Doc put me on GA and they clean up my womb.. was given another stitches.. again.. :-((

2nd Birth (my very own Gentle Birth) - I was smarter, I only went to the hospital when the contractions are 10-5 mins apart.. Contractions started the night before after a bloody shows in that afternoon. I distracted myself by preparing the baby stuffs, some house chores and I even made breakfast hehehe. Reached the hospital at 8.40am, already 7cm dilated and baby Umar Zharif arrived just 10mins after that.. It was beautifully painful but yet a really quick process! 

3rd Birth - Full of drugs.. you name it! Induced twice for a selected birth date (stupid huh?), pain killers, Epidural and assisted by vacuum as I was too 'high' to push baby AJ tho I was 10cm dilated! Mengada kan?

Lessons learned! Therefore, for this 4th pregnancy, I'll definitely gonna repeat my 2nd Birth method.. we're going back to Gentle Birth, people!

Reading, reading and reading... preparing myself for a calm and hoping for another quick labour! Insyaa Allah...

Our very own local Muslim Hypnobirthing instructor, Nadine Ghows has really inspired me to do this again and I'll definitely gonna sign into her classes and support group. Pretty interested into the Amani classes.

You can read more about Nadine here: http://www.mygentlebeginnings.com/about-me.html

Tried to talk hubs into a home birth, he's a bit sceptical and scared.. but being a finance guy, I think he's having a second thought went I describe how much we can save on the hospital charges $$$ ... ngehngehngeh...

Sharing Experience: How did we teach LZ to Read in English (Pengalaman mengajar LZ to read BM, coming soon)

LZ, like most kids, need help and a planned out approach to get her into reading. I love to read, but hubs only reads if he feels to and we both love the idiot box aka TV so much!

But which approach? People love to categorize. Phonics, Whole Language, Sight Words – we make reading as complicated as everything else.  
For a small minority of children, reading comes naturally. They start looking at books, get some help with what letters and words say, and gradually they start reading. Some can even read at the age of 2y.o!


All kids want to know is what all those words say so they can read their books!

Learning to read is a big milestone. It’s like toilet training: you know your child will get it, but when? (Toilet training: LZ was toilet trained as early as 2y.o, thanks to her dear Opah. Can't imagine how I'm gonna do it without her).

Reading ability can also be a way parents ‘keep score’. While our child is still learning the names of letters, our neighbor casually mentions that her child the same age reads an hour a day. What happens if your child ends up in Primary 1 with kids who read at an advanced level? Will your child fall behind? Does he need a tutor? Medication? Of course not.

I've read somewhere, children experience a natural Sensitive Period for learning to read when they are around 3-5 years old. Notice I said, learning to read. 

LZ taught herself how to understand and speak the language some time ago, although English is not our mother tounge, we do speak the language at home. Fyi, every child is also genetically programmed to learn to read. It is so much easier to teach a child to read if we take advantage of this natural Sensitive period when the child is young. Before we buy sandpaper sounds and sight word workbooks, though, ask ourselves two questions: Does my child see me reading every day? and, Do I read with my child every day?

Plus, our home needs to be a place where reading is practiced, valued, and encouraged. If we don’t read and mostly watch TV, guess what your child is going to do? 

At 2y.o, we noticed that LZ was kinda attached to the TV, so it triggered me that she needs to see me read.. like the slogan, "Membaca amalan Hidup". Be it reading newspapers, books, magazines (okay, online books too!). So we subscribed to the newspapers (only on weekends-working parents, no point buying everyday, kat office ada boleh bawak balik hehehe) and have regular visits to the bookstore (to read, hangout and sometimes buy - kiasu tak?). And Alhamdulillah, she gradually moved away from the TV to her books.. (this includes tearing and scribbling her 'artworks' on them)

When she turns 3, I read her books that she picked out and really loves. We read them as many times as she wants to. And, I'll try to let out my inner child as I read (well, a toddler won't be judging you, right?). I used different voices for the characters, act amazed and surprised, show enthusiasm and have fun. Most of all, I'll try to make reading time a warm, fun, loving experience (eventho it normally lasts as long as 10mins - she has short attention span.. just being kids).

When LZ gets older (almost 4), I pointed out words and encouraged her to read when she wants to (at that time we were using the Peter Jane series, before we were exposed to Phonics system). Talk about the story and the characters and get your her ideas. The key here is to be attentive, open, and engaged and gradually draw our child’s attention to the print. 

Investment: 
We didn't invest into any child enrichment centres to 'help' her to read.. but I did invest into some Grolier sets of books (well, this is more like her mom's dream came true - always wanted this set since back in my teens when reading it at my aunt's place). The whole set akan sgt berjasa to my keturunan, i would say, as it includes sets of books, activities and even some DVD for all ages. 

And there's this set (Disney's Magic English DVD & Books) where you can 'feed' your child with new vocabs and correct dictions. Many find this set a waste, but i kinda find it helpful. LZ used to play the DVD over n over again while I'm busy with the house chores or whenever I left her at home with her aunt or Opah. At least she's not only watching the Astro kids channels.

At 4y.o, Phonics breaks the code (we were introduced to it when she enrolled into a Montessori Playschool) and allows LZ to experience quick success in decoding written language, building words, and reading her first books. These experiences gave her confidence and a positive attitude toward reading. Phonics has then done its job.

Sight Word games and activities then help her recognize common words on sight, which is how we all were taught to read. This leads seamlessly into reading, reading, and more reading.


At 5+, Alhamdulillah LZ started reading some books on her own. along the way, she still needs help in blending some new words thus adding up her vocabs. It was a great milestone and achievement for her, although many kids has been there way earlier than her. But hey, she does has other skills that she gained earlier than other kids too u know, need not to be kiasu here :-)) (or am i? heheh)

I believe reading is an organic process that is mastered primarily by doing it, not 100% depending on those 'read&write' enrichment classes.. We can do it at home too.. 
Many ways will work. The important thing is to always follow the child. Watch for signs of that sensitive period for reading starting and then make the most of it!

And now, we're in the process to get AJ's interest to read. She has 100% different character than her sister, so have to use different approach.. which I'm still wondering how.. :-))





 

I'm back.. after 2 years! Hello 2013!

Assalamualaikum...

Wow! It's been two years since my last scribbles here.. Y so quiet? (like anyone ever care LOL)..
1) i kinda forgotten that I have a blog.. balancing work - life - blogging is aint easy for me, apparently
2) i finally found my password to blogger account.. after months of digging in & out

So, what's new?
1) I'm getting another baby.. in my 26th weeks now :-)) Yupp! I did it again.. have i told you that being pregnant is just so lovely? Our 4th.. and Insya Allah our 2nd boy.. Hikmah, when Allah took one of your beloved, He shall grant another rizq (or even better, be it in any forms) if you keep on praying and keep your patience on track. Insyaa Allah..

2) LZ has gone into Primary 1 in both SK and KAFA this year

3) AJ (the one in my tummy 2 years back) is a sweet cheeky little 20-months old girl now..

4) Hubs is temporarily 'disabled'.. he went through 2 operations in Dec '12 & Jan '13.. and yes, i'm sailing the 'ship' all alone.. Alhamdulillah for the kudrat given by the Almighty, only He knows how hard and tough it was.. but we survived, with only minor helps! Yeayy! So there goes me the wife, the mom, the company staff, the supir, the maid-less working mom (but thanks to weekend maid & laundry shops).. I'm glad I could do all those for hubs and children.. and I've never regret every sec of the time :-))

Other than those personal stuffs.. i have nothing else to describe.. LOL. well, simply because my life since the past few months is only within business/ work community & family.. only.

Owh ya.. i've reduced 50% of my time on social network by deleting a few accounts.. it's calming and a bless, i tell ya!

it's been a while ... Sorry!

sorryyyy ... Still waiting for my mojo to start scribbling again.. Anyway, everything went well from ms.lz to ms.mini in this womb of mine. Just 4 more weeks to go and i'm prepping my mind+body for a hypno-birthing, wish us luck! At 35-weeks, ms.mini is d right position for vaginal delivery,alhamdulillah!
Ms.mini + delivery + confinement preparation is almost 90percent done.. Can't wait for our mini project this coming school holiday - redecorating ms.lz's room + ms.mini's nursery..
I'll leave the decorating project for other parts of the house later before aidilfitri- well, it doesn't matter if it is delayed again as for the time being and the next few months, comforting ms.lz & welcoming our new baby girl is our priority!
- ouh!have i told u that ms.lz is having a tiny bit of issue with the arrival of her lil sister?... Will give the full version in d next post!
Owh yaa.. On 18th may 2011, 6.45am- ms.lz's first tooth fell off! My baby girl has grown up and i'm not excited.. Isn't it too fast?i want her to be a toddler for a few more years!

Sunnah: Aqiqah & Shaving Baby's Hair, Bida'ah/Culture: Cukur Jambul Ceremony, Makruh: Qaza' (Shaving/cutting only some part of baby's hair)

Which one do you choose to perform for your newborn? Sunnah? Culture - which normally leads to Makruh or even Haram? or Makruh doings?

Alhamdulillah, so far we had never failed to shave our kids' head entirely on their 7th day, name them and perform the Aqiqah as stated in the Sunnah Nabi Muhammad SAW.

When two families unite in a marriage, of course both sides have their family tradition or their own way of following the Sunnah. We faced the same challenges too! On my family's side, all babies, no matter a boy or a girl will be shaved entirely knowing the benefits it will bring to the baby as well as following our prophet's Sunnah . 

However, from my husband's side, we received storms of comments (most are heart wracking! huhuhu) on shaving the head, especially during our first baby. According to my in laws, what they normally do is just shave/cut a bit/part of the baby's hair and leave the rest of the baby's hair. Reason being? The hair is too nice/thick to be shaved, baby girls doesn't look good with bald head and etc.. I have to admit that it did makes sense on the later part, huhuhu.

I did ask my family, why we should shave all of the baby's hair, not only some part of it but I've never received a satisfied answer. 

So we made some research by asking ustaz/ustazah as well from books & online readings. It is stated that, "It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by Prophet Muhammad SAW, as reported by al-Bukhârî" . Such style of shaving/cutting baby's hair is known as Qaza', which is Makruh to be performed. (Makruh = There is no sin and no punishment if a person commits the Makruh, but it is blameworthy, not recommended and disliked)

Ibn Al-Qayem (Allah's mercy upon him) said about the benefit of shaving the newborn's hair: "Shaving baby's head removes the harm from him/her, removes the weak hair so that stronger and firmer hair replaces it and it is beneficial for the head. In addition, it comforts the newborn and opens the head's skin openings.And along with this is a strengthening of his eye sight, his sense of smell and hearing" Refer to Ahkamul Tifl: Ahmad Al-Eesawee 192.

Sheikh Ibn Uthaimeen said: "It appears that shaving the head on that day has a positive effect on the hair roots" Refer to Al-Sharh Al-Mumtiaa' 7/540.

Refer to Al-Sharh Al-Mumtiaa' 7/540

Hubby & me felt a big relief when knowing the facts, at least we managed to escape one Makruh doing to our newborn, Alhamdulillah. But of course, it is still not easy to convince those people who had been doing it for years because it is only Makruh, not a sin. Anyhow, as long as the babies are ours, the decision power is in our hands, just ignore the comments and backtalks :-)

Top left: Ms.LZ around 12mnth, hair is still 'struggling' to grow after almost a year  playing bald mini Sade, Top Right: Look at her hair! thick & gorgeous at 1yr++. Below: Allahyarham Umar looking good with growing shaved hair!

Talking about culture, most Malays choose to hold a Cukur Jambul ceremony, some are as grand as a wedding to announce the arrival of the newborn. I hope they do the necessary for the Aqiqah, serving the food for charity to those in need, not to show of. oops!

I'd like to share some readings on the above topics. To make things clearer..

The Aqîqah

After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings, it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (SAW) said,

"Every child is in pledge for it's Aqî qah which is sacrificed for it on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved" (Abu Dawûd)

If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (SAW) said,

"for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep." (Ibn Mâjah)

So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat, and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars have differed over this.

The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for our Prophet (SAW) performed the Aqîqah for his two grandsons. It is also obligatory to mention the name of Allâh over it while sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqî qah then he should add, 'this aqî qah is the Aqî qah of so and so' mentioning the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqî qah, as is reported in the hadî th related by al-Bayhaqî.

The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.

Shaving the baby's head

On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (SAW) told his daughter, Faatima (RA),

 “shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the poor" (Ahmad)

The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as mentioned in the hadîth,

 "shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the left" (Muslim)

It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by the Messenger (SAW) as reported by al-Bukhârî. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and Allâh knows best.

The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby's head after the shaving.

Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby's weight of hair in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be delayed.