Alhamdulillah, so far we had never failed to shave our kids' head entirely on their 7th day, name them and perform the Aqiqah as stated in the Sunnah Nabi Muhammad SAW.
When two families unite in a marriage, of course both sides have their family tradition or their own way of following the Sunnah. We faced the same challenges too! On my family's side, all babies, no matter a boy or a girl will be shaved entirely knowing the benefits it will bring to the baby as well as following our prophet's Sunnah .
However, from my husband's side, we received storms of comments (most are heart wracking! huhuhu) on shaving the head, especially during our first baby. According to my in laws, what they normally do is just shave/cut a bit/part of the baby's hair and leave the rest of the baby's hair. Reason being? The hair is too nice/thick to be shaved, baby girls doesn't look good with bald head and etc.. I have to admit that it did makes sense on the later part, huhuhu.
I did ask my family, why we should shave all of the baby's hair, not only some part of it but I've never received a satisfied answer.
So we made some research by asking ustaz/ustazah as well from books & online readings. It is stated that, "It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by Prophet Muhammad SAW, as reported by al-Bukhârî" . Such style of shaving/cutting baby's hair is known as Qaza', which is Makruh to be performed. (Makruh = There is no sin and no punishment if a person commits the Makruh, but it is blameworthy, not recommended and disliked)
Ibn Al-Qayem (Allah's mercy upon him) said about the benefit of shaving the newborn's hair: "Shaving baby's head removes the harm from him/her, removes the weak hair so that stronger and firmer hair replaces it and it is beneficial for the head. In addition, it comforts the newborn and opens the head's skin openings.And along with this is a strengthening of his eye sight, his sense of smell and hearing" Refer to Ahkamul Tifl: Ahmad Al-Eesawee 192.
Sheikh Ibn Uthaimeen said: "It appears that shaving the head on that day has a positive effect on the hair roots" Refer to Al-Sharh Al-Mumtiaa' 7/540.
Refer to Al-Sharh Al-Mumtiaa' 7/540
Hubby & me felt a big relief when knowing the facts, at least we managed to escape one Makruh doing to our newborn, Alhamdulillah. But of course, it is still not easy to convince those people who had been doing it for years because it is only Makruh, not a sin. Anyhow, as long as the babies are ours, the decision power is in our hands, just ignore the comments and backtalks :-)
serving the food for charity to those in need, not to show of. oops!
I'd like to share some readings on the above topics. To make things clearer..
The Aqîqah
After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings, it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (SAW) said,
"Every child is in pledge for it's Aqî qah which is sacrificed for it on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved" (Abu Dawûd)
If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (SAW) said,
"for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep." (Ibn Mâjah)
So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat, and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars have differed over this.
The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for our Prophet (SAW) performed the Aqîqah for his two grandsons. It is also obligatory to mention the name of Allâh over it while sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqî qah then he should add, 'this aqî qah is the Aqî qah of so and so' mentioning the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqî qah, as is reported in the hadî th related by al-Bayhaqî.
The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.
Shaving the baby's head
On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (SAW) told his daughter, Faatima (RA),
“shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the poor" (Ahmad)
The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as mentioned in the hadîth,
"shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the left" (Muslim)
It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by the Messenger (SAW) as reported by al-Bukhârî. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and Allâh knows best.
The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby's head after the shaving.
Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby's weight of hair in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be delayed.